I was married on this day 8 years ago in a court house
. My husband and I where setting at the table this morning, before he left for work, having a cup of coffee, discussing how fast the time has passed. I remember some good times and some horrible times in my relationship with this man. My husband is a hand full plus some. I didn’t think we would last this long because I married him for the wrong reason. I love my husband. I don’t think you can be in a committed relationship and not have love for the other person. Sometimes I don’t believe the love that we share is enough to sustain our marriage. I have told him that I married him for the wrong reasons. So he asked me would I marry him again? And I don’t know if I would.
I’m not sure if I want to be married some days, weeks, mouths. As much as I love him, I have been wanting to escape my life as a wife, and just be a tree. To go down a long pathway, deep in a forest that has no bugs, insects or replies , in an unknow place where I can shed the old hurts and afflictions. A place to rejoice in me. A place to shed my fears of being judged by others and just be me. A place where only the earth relies on me and I on it. You see people will let you down. No matter how tall I build a wall to shield me from others. Is It possible to just walk away.
I’m no quitter though, I have been known to fight to the end. Even if, it is to not disappoint the people I love, while disappointing myself. Not wanting to give up on others. When I’ve needed some space before I can only go 10 days without Dennis before I start to miss his. And I think that is so crazy. So often this man gets on my last nerve but I miss him when we are apart to long.
We , my husband and I , are going on a Carnival Dream Cruise to celebrate 3 occasions. Valentines, Wedding Anniversary, and my up coming Birthday. And I really cant wait. We haven’t been home all that long but I’m so ready to get away. Start a new day. Like I said I love my husband and we really need this time to rejuvenate for all the changes we have had accrued in our life’s the past 2 months. Some time for just our selves together and separately. A place we can turn everything else off and just relax and reflected.
We decided not to buy anything for each other this year because we will be sailing out in a few days. So, I didn’t expect any thing but being the man my husband is, I still got flowers and candy. My grandsons even Brought me Roses and Candy. My grandkids help keep me focused on the better parts of live. I want to be a positive past of there life’s.
Did you get what you wanted on this man made day, designed to spend money to show your love.?
Stay Positive… Stay Focused… Stay Prayerful…
